How Not to Pitch People on the Internet
3 glaring mistakes keeping you from more replies
Ever since my social media became monetizable, my inbox has been flooded with very bad cold pitches.
Here’s a glance at some of the subject lines I received in the past few weeks:
AI Affiliate Collaboration Offer for @marisajo
Booking Inquiry
Just Checking In – Missed Our Invite?
You're Invited to Experience the [redacted] Bundle!
Hey Mj - chat on trips
You don’t want to miss out on this opportunity!
Marisa, you and your audience might love this!
Hey , [redacted] wants to work with you!
Partnership Proposal for @marisajo
I only responded to one of these — can you guess which one?
Don’t get me wrong —
Cold outreach isn’t inherently bad. But it does require finesse.
At this point, I’ve seen so much bad outreach that certain red flags trigger an instant mental skip. My brain files them under “one of those” before I even finish reading.
What’s frustrating is that a lot of these messages come from genuinely talented founders and freelancers. People who probably have something great to offer — but I’ll never know, because the first impression flopped.
So if you want your email to feel like a handwritten note on parchment with a wax seal (instead of a pop-up ad), avoid these 3 instant turn-offs.
Mistake #1 — Your email reads as a template
A template does not exempt you from doing research on the person you’re emailing.
Make sure you address them by name (not their username). 1 out of every 5 emails I receive either doesn’t put a name, uses my username, or spells it wrong. It’s not a great first impression.
Then make sure the introductory paragraph is personalized. Don’t half-ass this part.
“I love your content, the topics you talk about are great!” reads as a template. It’s always obvious when people copy & paste buzzwords from my IG bio — this doesn’t read as genuine, it reads as lazy. It screams, “500 other people are getting this exact email!”
Take 5 minutes to research, look at their work, and write a couple sentences that actually mean something. Write it as if you’re a person, not a robot.
Then before you hit send, scan for any leftover traces of the template you started with. Remove any extra spaces and make sure the font is entirely the same. This will help your message look polished, rather than pieced together like a ransom note.
Mistake #2 — Your email is confusing
Don’t assume the person you’re pitching knows anything about you, your company, or your industry.
If I open your email and have no idea what you're talking about, I’m not going to spend time figuring it out. It’s not the recipient’s job to decode your pitch!!!
For the love of god, just be clear.
There’s no point to dancing around the ask. You’re already sending cold pitch(!), so own it.
Explain who you are, why you're reaching out specifically to them, what you’re asking/offering, and any context they made need. Be clear to avoid confusion, but concise enough to keep it moving.
If you do this well, they might want to learn more on their own. Make it easy for them to stalk you with a single, well-placed link to your portfolio, product, or website.
Before you hit send, read the email from their perspective. Is it an easy yes? Tweak it until it is.
Mistake #3 — Your email is all about you
The person you’re pitching should never have to wonder what’s in it for them.
Don’t expect people to care about your business — give them a reason to. Your email should be more about the recipient than it is about you.
The person you’re emailing likely has an overwhelming inbox and has to be selective with handing out yeses. If you want access to their time, energy, resources, or business, present a good case. Pitching is inherently a persuasive act, so persuade!
They’re opening your email thinking, “What’s in this for me?” So you better make sure you have an answer to that.
Otherwise, all you’re doing is asking for free labor — yeah, I fucking said it!!!!!
Imagine the very real human being who’s going to be getting the notification while they’re in the middle of something else, scrolling their email before bed, or in line at the grocery store.
Is your email worth a reply?
TL;DR
Stop expecting people to care about what you want just because you sent them a shitty, template email. Write to them with respect, be as clear as you possibly can, and give them a reason to say yes. Before you hit send, make sure your pitch is worth the reply you're hoping for.